Emmerdale actress admits she lost her ‘sense of identity’ after being axed from ITV soap

Former Emmerdale star Roxy Shahidi has spoken candidly about the emotional fallout of leaving the ITV soap after nearly two decades, admitting that stepping away from the role that defined much of her adult life left her grappling with a profound loss of identity. In a raw and reflective confession, the actress has revealed how saying goodbye to Leyla Harding — a character she portrayed for 17 years — forced her to confront who she was beyond the village of Emmerdale, and how she ultimately found a new path forward.

Roxy first joined the soap in 2008, quickly establishing Leyla as a complex, sharp-edged and deeply human presence in the Dales. After an initial run until 2011, she returned full-time in 2013, embedding herself once again at the heart of some of the show’s most emotionally charged storylines. Over the years, Leyla evolved from a feisty businesswoman into a woman shaped by grief, addiction, love and loss — and viewers watched her grow up in real time.

That journey came to a devastating end earlier this year, when Leyla was killed off in one of Emmerdale’s most dramatic episodes in recent memory. The character met her fate during the now-infamous limo crash, which saw a group of familiar faces plunged into freezing water after their vehicle careered off the road. In harrowing scenes, Leyla was rushed to hospital, only for fans to learn that she didn’t survive the journey, dying in the back of the ambulance.

The shockwaves from the storyline rippled far beyond the screen. For viewers, it marked the loss of a beloved character. For Roxy Shahidi, it signalled the end of an era — and the beginning of an intensely personal reckoning.

Nearly a year on from her exit, Roxy has taken to social media to reflect on the emotional toll of leaving the soap that had been her professional home for most of her adult life. In a brutally honest Instagram post, she admitted that the transition was far from easy, and that she struggled to separate herself from the character she had inhabited for so long.

“This time last year, I was coming to terms with having to leave this lot behind,” she wrote, referring to the cast and crew she had worked alongside for years. “Not just colleagues, but friends and family.”

Her words highlight a reality often hidden behind the glamour of long-running television roles. When an actor spends years — even decades — playing the same character, the line between performance and personal identity can blur. For Roxy, Leyla Harding wasn’t just a job.

“Playing Leyla wasn’t just a job; she was a huge part of my identity,” Roxy admitted. “Some days I spent more time being her than being myself.”

It’s a striking admission that underscores the emotional complexity of long-term soap work. Leyla’s experiences — her heartbreaks, her mistakes, her resilience — became intertwined with Roxy’s own sense of self. Losing that role meant losing a familiar anchor, and with it, a certainty about who she was and where she belonged.

“Losing that sense of identity was hard,” she continued. “But long walks with Mr Cooper gave me space to breathe, reflect and stay hopeful.”

Those walks, alongside her beloved cockapoo, became a form of quiet therapy, allowing her to process the grief not just of losing a job, but of saying goodbye to a version of herself. Yet it was another long-standing passion that ultimately helped her find stability during the most difficult moments.

“Yoga once again became my anchor on the hardest days,” Roxy explained. “Moving my body helped me move through grief, loss and uncertainty.”

Yoga has long been part of Roxy’s life, but in the aftermath of her Emmerdale exit, it took on a deeper significance. What began as a personal coping mechanism soon evolved into a new professional chapter. Over time, she poured her energy into teaching yoga online, gradually building what has since become a thriving new venture.

“Now YogaRox has grown into a new home, a new family, and a new sense of self,” she wrote, signalling a powerful transformation from soap star to wellness entrepreneur.

The shift marks a dramatic reinvention — one born not from choice alone, but from necessity. After 17 years in the same role, the future suddenly felt uncertain. Yet rather than retreating from that uncertainty, Roxy leaned into it, allowing herself to grow beyond the boundaries of the character that made her famous.

“I don’t know exactly how I’ll get there, but I know where I’m going,” she added, before thanking fans for their unwavering support through what she described as “a year of challenge, growth, and transformation.”

The response from the Emmerdale family was immediate and heartfelt. Former co-stars flooded the comments with messages of love and encouragement, a testament to the deep bonds forged behind the scenes. Laura Norton, who plays Kerry Wyatt on the soap, told her: “You’re amazing. You are very missed. Sky is the limit.”

Claire Sweeney, Isobel Hodgins and Ross Adams also shared messages filled with affection, while fans echoed the sentiment, praising Roxy for her honesty and celebrating her success beyond the soap.

“You are still so missed by us Emmerdale fans,” one wrote. “But you are smashing it now with your new projects.”

Another added: “I miss seeing you shine on my screen every night, but being able to see you absolutely smashing the yoga is everything.”

Roxy’s story is a reminder of the emotional cost that can come with life in the public eye — particularly in the world of soaps, where actors often grow up alongside their characters. Her journey from Leyla Harding to YogaRox is not just about career change, but about reclaiming identity, purpose and self-worth after a major life shift.

As Emmerdale continues to move forward without Leyla, her absence is still felt by fans who followed her story for nearly two decades. Yet off-screen, Roxy Shahidi’s next chapter is unfolding with clarity and courage. Looking ahead, she remains hopeful, grounded, and ready for whatever comes next — proof that sometimes, losing a role can lead to finding yourself all over again.