In the latest installment of Maurice Benard’s State of Mind, General Hospital leading man Chris McKenna opened up about the mental-health journey that led to him discovering that he suffered from bipolar disorder. The One Life to Live alum, who’d played Joey as a youngster, shared that “I lived my whole life with this disorder undiagnosed… and then experienced heavy psychothemia,” a chronic mood disorder that causes manic-depressive episodes that are somewhat milder than full-on bipolar.

McKenna’s situation culminated during Covid. That was “when I had my first dangerous depression since I was a teenager, which was followed by a manic psychotic episode which required hospitalization. And that’s when I finally got the diagnosis that I needed my whole life,” he said. “And I got on medication, lithium. And that’s where I am today.”

During Covid, Brennan’s portrayer explained, “I would be paralyzed with the fear of death. I couldn’t figure out what the point of living was… or how I’d ever find joy again. I tried to believe I’d find it, but it was nothing but bleak, dark thoughts.”

Making matters worse — and sadly, they could get worse — the actor couldn’t even find an escape in sleep for fear that he wouldn’t wake up. It seemed at the time that “there was no way out. I had to drink myself to sleep or use marijuana.” Thankfully, McKenna is doing better today.